Missing Germany
It has been almost 10 months since we came back from germany and now I begin to miss the life I had back there. I knew it wont be easy and I know it will get harder as time passes by.
I should be happy, coz I have a great husband, I got a good job, all my needs are fulfilled… Well I AM happy, but still there is a glance of regrets. I miss the kind of freedom I had when I was living in Germany. The freedom to be myself.
As for here, living in Banda Aceh, especially during Ramadhan, is quite desperating for me. The working days are allright, I am busy doing my work in the office and lunch is still on the table. But the weekends are especially hard. Can’t buy food coz no one sells food. If I buy food (not ready-to-eat stuff but things like canned stuff, drinks, noodles) at the supermarket, they look at me as if I should be ashamed for not fasting. During daytime lots of stores are closed, and during buka puasa also, not to mention the mood of the people working in those stores. its like it was a sin if i want to shop and bother them. We even have to be careful if we dare to eat chocolate in the car in case someone sees us eating and felt offended. It seems to be expected from us to feel guilty for not fasting…doesnt seem right, doesnt it.
I guess I am a tolerant person. I tolerate and respect other people, and if they have to fast, I respect that. But is it too much if I expect a little bit of tolerance too ? Tolerance towards those who are not fasting, as example. Or for women who are not wearing head cover.
Well thats enough whining for today..lets see how I feel afterwards 
October 16th, 2006 at 4:41 am
Hey, I know how that feels…I mean, people who are fasting and say to others to respect them or tolerate them by not eating/ drinking/ smoking around them to me is just bullshit. I mean they don’t understand the true meaning of Ramadhan. If they can’t fight the urge to eat just by seeing someone else eat, that’s not fasting, that’s starving! I really like it here in Weimar, I can actually feel the difference between fasting and starving. I’ve had days where I fast ohne Sahur (n tahu sendiri khaan yang namanya Rostbratwurst baunya kaya apa?). Tapi kalo dah niat khan lain, g kerasa…malah itung2 ngirit, aku g harus beli lunch hehe…so my opinion about people in Indo who are fasting, especially those in Aceh they’re a bunch of people in starvation hehehe…
October 20th, 2006 at 12:22 am
I have been taught since childhood to respect those who fast. So I do. But then it depends where I live. Say, when I used to live in Berlin, I will just eat whenever I feel like it (well, when I’m not fasting for some reason) because it’s Berlin, where majority don’t fast. I will never force someone who fast to break her/his fast by shoving a hotdog in her/his mouth, I wil say.. “sorry, I got to eat”. I will never say “umm yummy..” infront of them who’s fasting, coz I respect them (But i will not stop eating). And they will have to respect me too, coz I’m damn hungry, so let me have a bite. hehehe..
But when I live in Indonesia, where majority are moslems (well, B. aceh specially) I have to live by the rule. there’s saying that says “act like you’re part of the country” or “the only thing that rules is the law of the land you are in”. Basically, we have no choice but to respect the custom of the Indonesian majority, and for your case the Acehnese. I know some people who are fasting, will not mind seeing you eating infront of them (they understand and are more open minded), but you can’t expect to have that many open-minded ppl in Aceh. And I guess you just have to live by the custom. These acehnese will probably have to do the same when they’re say in united states! They just have to “accept” that people will just eat infront of them.
I too, miss the life in Berlin so much. I agree, that I can be lot more like myself. I am now being myself, but of course..lately ppl think i’m such a whore .. hahahaah.. that’s what I get being “me” in an arab country. yep.. it sucks.